For my month in Malaysia, a lot of my time was spent praying. Malaysia was another ATL(Ask The Lord) month. We moved around a lot, staying in about 7-8 different places throughout the month. The thing about prayer ministry, is that it is just as important as physical ministry, sometimes even more important. While we stayed in Penang, we would often go visit the PenHOP(Penang House of Prayer). It is a very peaceful place where anyone can come and worship, pray, reflect, study, etc. Usually they have some music playing in the background. One of the ways God speaks to me is through worship and listening to music.
On this Monday afternoon I had found some pens and paper in one of the cabinets at PenHOP and then sat down thinking I might doodle a drawing. Over the past week and a half I had been struggling with body image and comparing myself to the world’s standards of beauty, even going as far as thinking about undergoing surgery in order to fit some sort of “worldly beauty” mold once I got back home. I was getting so frustrated with my thoughts of not being good enough. I was unhappy with what I looked like and yet I knew that God created me exactly as He intended. Everything He creates is beautiful and is wonderful. I started writing, being honest with God, “I’m not happy with the way you made me. I’m struggling with this and I don’t want to struggle anymore. Papa, open my eyes so that I may see myself the way you see me!” The wonderful thing about asking God for something is that He answers.
So this is what God wrote to me: “I gave you those big hazel-brown eyes to see my beauty that is all around you. I made you smart to figure things out and to have a desire to know how things work and who I am. I gave you your nose that you don’t like because it’s your earthly daddy’s nose and I want you to think of him every time you look in the mirror. I gave you a heart to love people like I love them. I gave you those long legs so that you can run after me and never stop. I made you to question things because I want you to test the world. What is being said to you? Does it match up with what I say? I gave you visions and dreams because I know this is a way I can connect with you. Ask and you will receive. I gave you a big imagination because I want you to be creative, like me. I gave you a desire to dance because I want you to dance with me. I made you a romantic because I want you to fall in love with me. I gave you my joy because I want you to share it with others. I made you a dreamer because I want you to dream with me. I gave you a desire to explore because I want you to find me in everything and everywhere you go.”
My beauty is not defined by society. It is defined by God; my Heavenly Father. I can walk in the knowledge and the freedom that I am perfectly and wonderfully made. God created me with a purpose in mind; everything that I am, is to give glory to Him. You too can choose to walk in that freedom. He wants to have a relationship with you! You are uniquely made in the image of God, everything about you, He created for a purpose and a reason. Ask Him about it. Ask Him why He created you the way He did. He will show you the wondrous parts that make up the person that you are.
Love, Jewel
